Well, OK. "I am in your capable hands, Hernando!" Focking-A, Freddie! You do like I telling you, you gonna be in the beeg leagues, some day soon! Hey, bot there's one theeng we gotta talk about. Sometime, on the road treeps, you know? I peek op these yong gurls. You know?" You want to know if I'll get lost, if you bring a woman back to the room?" Si. Yas. I want to know that." These young girls ... How young are they?" Oh no no no no! Not like dot! Beeg gurls, I'm talking. Not the leedle ninas! You theenk I'm the Dirty ol' Man, Freddie? No no no no no!" OK," I said, smiling. "You pick up a girl, I will inspect her, check her teeth, make sure she's old enough for an old fucker like you. If she's legal, I will get lost, just like that!" You don' to worry. She be legal, each times. Mebbie she give you some, too, you wan'." No, I have my own girl, back home. If she comes down here, maybe you will have to be the one, gets lost." Only after I check her teeth for you, making sure she eez. I must have looked confused because he smiled and asked:"Didn't Janice tell you? I'm not her biological father. His name is Stan Burris and he's a salesman for Norris Business Forms. He passes through periodically and stops to say hello. You'll like him and I'm sure he'd like to make your acquaintance since you're marrying his daughter." Yeah, that'd be great." I responded nervously. "I'm looking forward to it."Just then Janice and her mother came in laden with bags of merchandise with the with the logo of the local department store emblazoned on each bag."There," Janice exclaimed as she dumped her load on the sofa. "That will take care of gifts for the bridesmaids and a few other things." she said as she came over to sit on my lap; We kissed tenderly and then she asked:"What have you and daddy been doing while you were waiting?" I was telling him what every groom should know." her father volunteered."What did you learn?" she asked with a giggle. "Not something naughty I hope?" I.
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